Bethenny Frankel Dishes On “New Jersey”‘s Last Supper

22 Jun

On last night’s first of four Real Housewives of New Jersey post-finale specials, I can now I see why the ratings were so high. Perhaps if I mud wrestle one of my castmates at Madison Square Garden, then I will feel complete and validated.

It really seemed like much ado about nothing. Am I missing something? Some girl, who doesn’t know five other girls, did some creepy stuff 25 years ago, and is now on a reality show with said five girl Italian Stallions, who are “thick as thieves” and won’t tolerate her criminal past.

Now the “criminal in question” wants to pull out a book at an orchestrated dinner to clear the air with the same people she doesn’t know, definitely doesn’t like and who want nothing to do with her and never will.

The core issue is that Danielle was publicly humiliated because of some salon visit by Dina and Caroline. Um, you signed up for a reality show with a past like that? I’m gathering that Bravo is a bit more public than Le Chateaux salon in Franklin Lakes, N.J.

Whether she actually came to the restaurant with that book folded into her tiny clutch, or if the Bravo producers had that book hidden under the table, is neither here nor there. In any case, it seemed premeditated. I mean who brings it out at a dinner party?

Look, Danielle, face it, they hate you. You tried to get them to like you, and you’re now the center of attention so you feel a little powerful, but they still hate you. My advice, stay home with your beautiful girls and camp out on your therapist’s couch for a long while. You’ve destroyed your own life and now you’re on the road to destroying your girls’. Her ex-husband should come get them stat.

There is more to this than we see, though, because Danielle wanted to be Dina’s friend so badly at the season’s beginning and now is hating her so vehemently. Dina’s nervous pacing and body language, as Danielle astutely noticed, were telling.

Caroline and Dina keep talking about how Danielle wants the attention and now, mission accomplished. She’s splashed all over magazines for her visit to the big house and a sex tape. Bravo, Danielle, I’m sure your girls are proud. Now, the toxicity of actually shooting a reality show, coupled with this scandal is beyond damaging to those kids. It’s the whole Jon and Kate controversy. Those kids shouldn’t be working in this way or exposed to this.

As for Teresa, she was quite proud of her behavior, and in general, really wanted to glorify the table flipping as an Italian, Jersey right of passage. How embarrassing, seriously. It seems that Teresa’s lack of vocabulary led her to express herself physically. She made it clear that Danielle doesn’t know who to mess with, but Danielle didn’t seem too frightened. I will give Teresa credit for finally using an SAT word correctly: audacity. Congratulations, T!

Incidentally, Danielle did look great in that dress, and what is insane is that she came off better than most of the group, which shows what we’re dealing with.

Thankfully, Teresa’s husband was so turned on that they got it on that night. I guess they did it four times that day, rather than the three times daily she boasted about earlier.

The wisest comment was when Danielle’s daughter said that how Teresa behaved was the opposite of a lady. Smart little girl.

The running assessment from the kids was entertaining, which ranged from comments that their father would never tolerate this and Teresa is a feisty little Italian-tempered girl, to the comments of Caroline as the lioness of the crowd. It became comical actually.

I still like Caroline a great deal. I loved when she laughed—thought it was rude when she texted—but I appreciate her ability to form a grammatically correct sentence, which is more than I can say for Teresa, Dina and Danielle. Actually, Danielle sounds articulate compared to the others, and that’s including her pronunciation of caw-fee and taw-king.

Jacqueline was a star, a class act and she became my fast favorite. She is actually a strong woman who stood up for someone, right or wrong, because she believed in her. Very nice. Congrats on your baby, Jacqueline. Your husband, Chris, is a lucky man.

And lastly, as for Dina blogging that TV isn’t just for money and that I should apologize by donating “some of that Skinnygirl money” to her charity, here is my response: Dina, I happily donate my time and money to the Children’s Tumor Foundation, Camp Confidence and the Step Up Women’s Network, just to name a few.

Dina, for you to insinuate that you did this reality show for charity, I will quote my friend Kathy Griffin and say, “That’s a bag of bulls–t.”

I’m thinking I’ll lock my doors and seal my windows after this one.

I’m with Bethenny on Jacqueline–she really impressed me throughout the show, easily the realest New Jersey housewife, too bad she has a spoiled bitch for a daughter. Danielle is a pathetic, drama-queen, it’s sad that the show had to revolve around her. If Dina’s coming back, I want to see her husband. Teresa’s funny and has great daughters, but is way too loyal to the Manzo sisters, while Caroline is just boring and needs to be replaced–either that or add a 6th NJ housewife next season and force her to be Danielle’s friend.

Vicki Gunvalson Gets Tattoo On Her Ass!

16 Jun

A very revealing moment for one of The Real Housewives of Orange County when Vicki Gunvalson dropped her drawers and got some artwork on what some say is her best asset, and only can show you the revealing pictures.

Check out the photos of the 47-year-old mom, who is all smiles with her second hubby Donn, letting everyone in on her Vicki’s secret.

The Bravo blonde has no problem turning the other cheek as her bum gets beautified!

Seems like Vicki’s really competing hard with Danielle for the title of Housewives biggest ho.

Bethenny Frankel Is Here And So Are Her Nipples

11 Jun

Bethenny Frankel at the Apollo Theater 75th Anniversary Gala in New York

(6/8) Holy crap, could this chick embarrass her kids any more? Wasn’t appearing on the Real Housewives of New York enough? She has to go and pull this see-through shit? Her kids won’t be able to show their faces at school. And I know we’ve all had parents embarrass us in some way or another, but this is just over the top. The worst my mom ever did was a little meth, but it’s almost like, whose mom hasn’t dabbled in that?

Ummm, Bethenney doesn’t have any kids and that outfit looks hot on her IMHO. People need to lighten up.

Kelly Bensimon Gets Community Service For Slugging Ex-Boyfriend

9 Jun

A claws-out cougar from “The Real Housewives of New York City” accepted a deal yesterday over charges she belted her much younger beau.

As part of the deal – in which she did not have to plead guilty – Kelly Bensimon, 40, will have the assault charge against her dropped if she can stay out of trouble for one year. Judge Michael Yavinsky said she also has to serve two days of community service.

“I’m very pleased. Justice was served,” a beaming Bensimon said after ‘fessing up to her March assault on Nick Stefanov, 30.

The model wasn’t very apologetic about the beatdown.

“I learned that if a man is in your apartment and he won’t leave, that you should absolutely do whatever it takes,” the 6-foot stunner said.

Guess that little fit Kelly threw on the “Reunion” show about this case, worked.

That’s Danielle Staub In “Cop Without A Badge” Book

3 Jun

Ok, the word, rumors, gossip, whatever concerning Danielle Staub is now official:

After the teaser on last week’s “The Real Housewives of New Jersey,” we were all waiting to find out about Danielle and her mug shot in the book “Cop Without a Badge.”

But first, we have to hear a recap of the gossip from last week as Teresa and Jacqueline sit down with Danielle to discuss all the nonsense. Which, as is the case with drama queens the world over, meant that Danielle would barely let anyone else finish a sentence, went on and on about how victimized she is and did her damnedest to attempt to squeeze out a few tears. Among the rumors was the husband chasing and offering a personal trainer sex in exchange for training – a charge Danielle dismisses by informing us that she owes more than $25,000 to Neiman Marcus, so why would she chase someone with a salary as low as a personal trainer. She does know that fitness training is not like marriage, right?

Danielle is convinced that Dina is the one who is doing all the talking, but Dina is more concerned with her daughter going to Cyprus with her father for two weeks. Because Dina seems to think Cyprus is a third world country where they don’t have toilet paper, diseases run rampant, older men are looking to impress young American girls (Lexi isn’t even a teenager yet) and terrorists are lurking around every corner.

Teresa’s husband Joe decides he wants them to take salsa lessons and Jacqueline and her husband, Caroline’s kids, and Danielle all go too. Caroline watches uncomfortably as Danielle cougar eyes her son and grabs his hips in an effort to teach him how to move. But things get even more uncomfortable when Joe keeps calling things “gay” and Danielle tells him to knock it off (which, I agree with, frankly). Joe tells her to ‘be quiet; and Danielle shoots back that he can’t talk to her like that because she is not his wife. They all leave awkwardly as Teresa tries to figure out if she was insulted or not. She decides she is, hangs up on Danielle when she tries to talk about what happened at the dance lesson, and gets to the business of moving into her ridiculously over the top house and focusing on Gia’s career.

Finally getting to the book issue, Caroline, Dina and Teresa get their hands on it and read it. As they report, Danielle was involved with kidnapping, the Colombian drug cartel and prostitution. Jacqueline meets with Danielle and asks if the man she was dating was involved in those things and Danielle flatly responds “I’m not going to answer that” and then explains in a confessional that if she was involved in it, Jacqueline should have figured it out by now. Which is a specious argument at best.

Bethenny Frankel Thinks New Jersey Counterparts Are “Boring”

1 Jun

If Real housewives of New York City‘s Bethenny Frankel were to be asked, the housewives over at the garden state aren’t all that exciting compared to the boob-job-getting, backstabbing ladies of the big apple, but their husbands are a different matter entirely.

“I’m not finding the actual content all that riveting (and I mean not even in a “can’t look away from a train wreck kind of way”),” she writes on her E! Online blog. “I find it pretty boring so far, and I think it is largely because the husbands may be the most interesting characters, and they don’t seem to be surfacing anytime soon.”

I totally agree. So far “The Real Housewives of New Jersey” has not lived up to the hype (I believe that it’s still getting great ratings tho). Danielle is, by far, the most interesting character and Teresa puts you to sleep (tho her family could make things interesting if Bravo were to feature them more). Granted, there’s still a lot of season left, so who knows if the drama will get better, but so far I’m not impressed.

Jeana Keough Not Returning To “Orange County”?

1 Jun

Jeana Keough and her family may not appear on the next season of The Real Housewives of Orange County, according to an unsourced, two-sentence post on The Dirty that said “Bravo and the Keough’s [sic] couldn’t come to terms over contract negotiations. As of now, Jeana and her family are not signed on to the 5th season of The Real Housewives of Orange County.” If thats true, that’d leave Vicki Gunvalson as the only original cast member.

Jeana has addressed the rumors but only in a roundabout way. Replying to someone who said “hope the show continues,” Jeana wrote on Twitter, “Don’t hold your breath!”, and later, when someone asked if there’d be another season, she wrote, “Yes, that’s what I hear is going on!”

Jeana’s certainly the sane and reasonable one on “Orange County” and I was interested in seeing how her finally going out and dating, after her marriage recently fell apart, would turn out. But hey, maybe after all these years, she’s just tired of the cameras. If she does decide to leave, the show will definitely miss her.

Who Will The Real Housewives Of DC Be?

1 Jun

Bravo announced this week that it will bring its “Real Housewives” program to Washington and is hard at work “scouting the D.C. area to identify the city’s alluring and discriminating residents … women who have their pulse on the most important cultural events, political galas, gallery openings and fundraisers in Washington society.”

We’re here to help – or at least handicap the search.

Despite the show’s title, “Real Housewives” doesn’t actually require women to be housewives — many of the “housewives” featured on other versions of the show are accomplished women with impressive jobs — or not even married. Still, being single is the exception to the rule and, for the sake of consistency of our list, we’re including married women only.

Sorry, MoDo.

And, yes, we’re being realistic here, so don’t look for, say, Michelle Obama, Hillary Clinton or Vicki Kennedy on our list. And many of Washington’s best-known socialites — the Catherine Reynoldses, Buffy Cafritzs, Beth Dozoretzes and Catherine Meyers of the world — aren’t likely to “stoop” to the tawdry world of reality TV.

So who might be a good fit – and a reasonable “get”? Here are some of our best guesses:

Michelle Fenty

Why they’d pick her: As the wife of Washington’s mayor, she’s a natural pick for any local show. Her family is cute (a 6-month-old girl and 8-year-old twin boys) and photogenic (the “Housewives” crew would love catching a sweaty mayor busting through the front door after his morning run). And, if the mayor’s mini-political controversies continue, a peak inside their household would make for must-see TV.

Why they wouldn’t: The wives and husbands of politicians have learned to take a backseat to their hobnobbing spouses, and it’s doubtful that an already private mayor would encourage his wife to pull back the curtains on their lives.

Sally Quinn

Why they’d pick her: As one of Georgetown’s longtime hostesses, she brings an institutional knowledge of the city that some of the up-and-comers lack. She and husband Ben Bradlee (former executive editor of the Washington Post) can whip off stories about the days of Camelot and put the younger wives’ Obama-mania in perspective.

Why they wouldn’t: Since Quinn is one of the more obvious choices, she’d also be one of the more uninspired and most predictable. And on a show that encourages personality and characters, Quinn can frequently come off as detached and aloof. Perhaps a better choice would be yoga instructor Pary Williamson, who was recently engaged to Sally and Ben’s son, Quinn.

Tammy Haddad

Why they’d pick her: More and more, Haddad has become a symbol for social Washington and the nexus between power and parties. She and her husband, Ted Greenberg of the World Bank, would make for great television, since Greenberg frequently jokes with guests that he’s just background music at some of their parties and adorably concedes that Haddad truly runs the house.

Why they wouldn’t: If “Real Housewives” had any designs on someone besides Haddad dominating the show’s narrative, they’d better not pick her, since Haddad’s big personality won’t be easy to hide.

Ana Marie Cox

Why they’d pick her: The Air America pundit, along with husband Chris Lehmann (of CQ), would present a nerdy, eyebrow-raised contrast to Georgetown’s stiff upper lip. She’d be the one staring into the camera, asking America, “Can you believe these chicks?”

Why they wouldn’t: Cox picks her friends carefully and might have a hard time pretending to be buddies with some women that she’d otherwise rather ridicule.